Why I fucking hate driving (and you probably do too)

There's something I need to get off my chest: I absolutely hate driving. Not dislike, not find mildly annoying - I genuinely, deeply hate it. And judging by the conversations I've been having lately, I'm far from alone in this sentiment.

It wasn't always this way. Like many people, I used to find driving liberating. When I first got my license, cruising around with friends felt like freedom itself. We'd drive anywhere and everywhere, windows down, music up, without a care in the world. But somewhere between then and now, that joy got crushed under the weight of reality.

The daily grind that grinds you down

These days, I drive 14 miles every single day. It doesn't sound like much on paper, but when you're stuck in heavy traffic with no alternative, those miles become a prison sentence. Every morning, I steel myself for the inevitable frustration that awaits me on the road.

The thing is, driving could be peaceful - and sometimes it is. In those rare moments when the roadways are clear, when it's just you and the open road, there's something almost meditative about it. But those moments are becoming increasingly rare. Instead, we're stuck dealing with the reality of modern traffic, aggressive drivers, and the constant stress of navigating through chaos.

When everyone becomes the worst version of themselves

Here's what really gets to me: driving turns regular, decent people into "selfish, lazy, impatient, reckless, narcissistic dickheads." I've watched it happen countless times, and I've felt it happening to myself. The person who holds doors open for strangers suddenly becomes someone who won't let another car merge. The patient parent becomes a road-raging maniac because someone cut them off.

"It's the most stressful part of most people's day. It turns regular people into selfish, lazy, impatient, reckless, narcissistic dickheads. We'd all be a lot better off if we drove less."

This observation hits hard because it's so true. We spend our days trying to be good people, then climb behind the wheel and lose our humanity for 30 minutes to an hour.

The perfect driving conditions (that barely exist)

Ask anyone what makes driving tolerable, and you'll get the same answer: empty roads. Driving is only fun "when you aren't stressed, cops aren't lurking, nobody is around you, or on your ass. So basically at 3AM, in an isolated area, or a backroad."

I've experienced those magical moments - usually late at night or early morning when the world feels empty and the road belongs to you. But banking on 3 AM drives isn't exactly a sustainable solution for daily commutes and errands.

Some people have figured out creative workarounds. One person I know has "turned around and gone back home a couple of times over the years upon realizing just how full the roadways were," choosing to run errands later in the evening instead. It's a luxury not everyone can afford, but it shows how far we'll go to avoid the stress of peak traffic.

The great retreat from the road

The most telling response I heard was from someone who's essentially given up on driving altogether: "I drive as little as possible... Most people in society would never know I exist because I stay at the house so much and I love it."

This person found peace by simply opting out of the system as much as possible. While not everyone can become a hermit, there's something appealing about minimizing our exposure to the daily stress of driving.

Finding ways to cope (or at least survive)

So what can we do? We can't all become shut-ins, and most of us don't have the luxury of avoiding driving entirely. Here are some strategies that might help:

Timing is everything

• Run errands during off-peak hours when possible
• Use traffic apps to find less congested routes
• Consider working from home more often if your job allows it

Mindset shifts

• Accept that traffic is largely out of your control
• Use driving time for podcasts, audiobooks, or music you enjoy
• Practice deep breathing when you feel road rage building

Practical alternatives

• Combine multiple errands into single trips
• Use delivery services when the cost makes sense
• Consider public transportation for routine trips if available

The bigger picture

Maybe the real issue isn't that we're all bad drivers or that roads are poorly designed (though both might be true). Maybe it's that we've built a society where driving is mandatory for basic functioning, then act surprised when it makes us miserable.

We've created a system where getting to work, buying groceries, or maintaining social relationships requires participating in what many consider the most dangerous and stressful activity of their day. No wonder we're all losing our minds on the road.

Until we figure out better solutions - better public transit, walkable communities, or just cultural shifts that reduce our driving dependence - we're stuck managing our relationship with something we hate but can't avoid.

For now, I'm trying to find that elusive calm behind the wheel, to "just not give a fuck" about the chaos around me. Some days it works better than others. But at least I know I'm not alone in this frustration. Sometimes, that's enough to make the next commute a little more bearable.